Fuck It Top 10 Rejections

Here are 10 topics I considered writing on and then quickly decided to not go forward with. And here is why…

Fuck Mothers: This one could get too confusing as people will think I’m talking about MILFs. Plus it was just mothers day and mothers do so much for us. We wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for a mom in a sense so overlooking all the embarrassing, guilt tripping, disappointing, angering, distracting, annoying moments I’m going to let them off the hook.

Fuck Lawyers: Too cliche. They take all your money just because they can speak a made up language that involves many years of schooling and apprenticeship. They waste a lot of their time preparing and studying so they can waste a lot of our money and tax payers money to battle in nerdy debates over peoples lives. They love power and in a sick way they are able to get a lot of it. I could go on forever about all the harm they do, but in the end there’s no doubt about it that if or when I get in trouble I’m going to be calling one up for help.

Fuck Politicians: Also cliche. Behind all the lies, deceit, tricks, illegalities, affairs, black mail, embezzling, and stealing I like to think their is a glimmer of good intention. They also beat the hell out of just about any dictatorship. Someday good politicians will prevail over the bad ones so I’d like to hold out for hope and not count them out just yet.

Fuck Budweiser: Somehow the most idealized beer of Americans sold out to a European beverage distributor making many people wonder why they were drinking this shit to begin with. Besides bud light, Budweiser has to be the most commonly consumed shittiest drink in the history of civilization. A special thanks to mass production, mass marketing, and consumers all over for keeping such a terrible beverage alive for so long. They did have some good commercials over the years so I will still hold them close at heart. Just do me a favor next time you order a beer/pitcher to think over the decision before you switch off your brain and blurt the first thing that comes to your mind and utter the words I’m sure many people are sick of hearing, “Budweiser please”.

Fuck My Life: Thank you social networking for more than covering this topic in so many ways imagineable. www.fmylife.com

Fuck the Yankees: Seriously, anyone who wears their hat just wants anyone around them to know they are the biggest douche bag in the vicinity. Then if they so choose they often pop their collar to seal the deal and extinguish any doubt. What a group of high class, good character individuals who love the game they play. A-Rod looks great in pinstripes by the way. He would also look good behind bars in another kind of pinstripes. I’m sick of hearing aobut Derek Jeter too! He has to be the most over rated player on any team and it just so happens he has that distinction on the most over rated team. We all get it. You can buy anyone you want. Bravo, now good luck buying that championship.

Fuck Mondays: A weak and lame start to every week. Too hard to focus after having a good time away fromwork and all you really want is it to be the weekend again. Too bad this day is the furthest from such a wonderful thought. Unfortunately Mondays come and go and to my knowledge are unavoidable. So I will just have to live with it and try to ignore my hate for them every week.

Fuck Oklahoma Thunder. First the Sonics is a way better name. You should have kept the name, struck a deal with your local headquartered Sonic fast food chain company and made it rich. Instead you create a non-competitive team and pretend to belong in the NBA game after game as you squeak off victories from lazy underestimiating opponents. I’m still bitter, and now that I think about it, I’m not okay with Super Bowl XL’s outcome either so fuck the Steelers too! See now I just sound like a bitter Seattle Sports Fan, which is still better than the “stupidly optimistic” and/or “hey look this team is winning so I should join in on the bandwagon so I can watch them lose again” Seattle Sports Fans.

Fuck Racism: It’s 2009, if you got something to say about another race you better make sure its funny otherwise you will sound retarded. Not only does it have to be funny, but it needs to be creative and not involve the over-used sterotypes we have all become so aware of. We do live in a world that seems like racism will never fully be abolished so here’s my attempt at some change. Ok now I’m thru.

Fuck Top 10 Lists: I know, there I go self hating, but really someone can make a top 10 list for anything. Maybe its time to do away with the lists. Then I decided I wanted to do a top 10 list so I guess this rant had to be rejected.

I’m sure there will be many more that will come to mind in the future, but for now these 10 items will be safe from ridicule.